Room 3

Today with the girls started off with a shock when we saw that Alice wasn't in her spot, wasn't even in her room. Luckily a nurse saw the panic on our faces and quickly explained that Alice had been promoted to Room 3 - Low Dependency (she previously had been in Room 2 - High Dependency).

I know this is good news, because it means she doesn't need the high level of care and monitoring - and it means she's one step closer to coming home. But I don't like Room 3 - it's bigger, with more little babies lined up more closely together, and fewer nurses to look after those babies. It felt more institutional - and I want Alice to get as much care and attention as she has had so far, even if she doesn't physically need it. And I liked that I had come to know the three women who worked in shifts and looked after Alice and helped me (literally) with expressing breast milk - one of the things I've struggled with is the lack of continuity of care, always having to explain myself and my situation to different people every day. Like my 'community' midwife who I've seen throughout my pregnancy and who will be helping me outside the hospital...she came into our room (five days after the event), took my hand, talked softly to us about how sorry she was over what had happened...but not sorry enough or caring enough to actually find out the sex or names of our girls. Looks like someone's switching community midwives. Maybe I am a princess after all.

But I digress. It's a good thing Alice is in Room 3 - and more good news is that tomorrow she should be strong enough with her feeding to have the tube running from her nose into her stomach taken out and just do all of her feeding from the bottle and, fingers crossed, me. We tried the day before yesterday but it had been an emotional day with Maggie and when Alice was crying and unhappy, I just found it all too much. Tomorrow I'll man up (as Tom says) and have another go.

Not to go on about my breasts for too much longer, but the expressing every three hours to try and get ahead of the girls is taking its toll these past few days. Mainly because I can't 'sleep when they sleep' like all the books recommend when your baby's at home with you - my stint of sleep has been 1.30am-5am, with the idea that I catch another hour or two before being up for the day. But it takes just long enough for my ragged little brain to start thinking about everything and sleep doesn't come back easily. More manning up to do, I think!

There isn't much to update about Maggie today - we're hoping that they'll try and remove, or at least reduce, her breathing apparatus tomorrow and see how she gets on. She had quite a peaceful day, except for when I was endlessly talking at her and touching her through the little incubator hole and she was trying to bat me off. And I think she actually flinched when I started singing.

Alice and Shannon: