I put Maggie down to sleep in her cot for the last time tonight - her special bed is being delivered tomorrow. And I'm really, really dreading it. There were more than a few tears tonight getting Maggie ready for bed, for this last night.
I was actually okay with the special bed until the message on our phone last week from the team delivering it - Hospital Services. My little reality-block bubble, which really is quite strong most of the time, had been seeing Maggie's bed as 'special' in vague, nice, cute terms. Just for Maggie, special. But here was the truth - it's a hospital bed. For my little girl's room.
A big, single, electric bed that stands at our waist height for easy access, with blue, padded sections we open for putting Maggie in and out, and then close when she's sleeping. Her room won't have her little, 'normal' cot in the corner any more. It will be dominated by her big hospital bed. And my reality-block bubble isn't strong enough to make out that this is okay, that this is anything but heartbreaking and wrong and a daily reminder that reality isn't what I keep pretending it is.
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Oh god - the heartbreak you guys must go through every day - it seems bad enough just reading this. Really hope Maggie adapts quickly and sleeps well in her new bed (can it be decorated?). Thinking of you all - H
ReplyDeleteSome gorgeous bedding on it will take your eye away from it being a hospital bed.It will be much better on your back too!!Think positive.I know it is hard but sometimes you have to.
ReplyDeleteIn this one post, I feel I have a very small insight into your lives and the mental hurdles you have to deal with, not just daily, but at key points during Maggie's life. I wish I'd understood that more when I spoke to you this week. For me, Maggie had got a new bed that would require a bit of getting used to, for you it means something completely different.
ReplyDeleteI hope the bed is beginning to feel a bit better for all of you.
Much love - Shelley x
I hate Tom's bed. It's a big, fat, constant reminder of the severity of his disability. But he loves it. And he sleeps much better in it. Hope Maggie loves hers too. x Helen
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