I know we're long, long overdue in posting photos of the girls, especially now that they're the ripe old age of one - and I need to learn from Paul how to do this properly so he doesn't have to be the one responsible for it all the time. But one of my favourite pictures of Maggie is clumsily attached below (hopefully).
It's 4.45am, I've just finished feeding Maggie but was contemplating staying up for another hour to feed her a little bit again because she has to go up to the hospital at 9.45am to have dye pumped into her to test the level of her reflux and can't eat anything for 4 hours beforehand. And it hit me - like it often does after a period of time when Maggie's been particularly demanding and upset and sleepless like she's been this past week - she's just a baby.
It's hit me hard this time - because she's just had her first birthday (and was such a super girl for it), because she's going to Quidenham tomorrow and I feel desperate for the break. She's just a baby - who hasn't had a day in her first year when she hasn't vomited, hasn't had a night where she's slept through contentedly. Her little arms and legs move constantly even though she doesn't want them to - she's always frustrated by things her mind wants to do but her body won't let her. She's spent nearly half her life in hospital, lots of times on her own. Her first week of being one and she's had two hospital appointments, a physiotherapy appointment and a milestone development session and is spending three days at a hospice. And she's still so little, only 16 pounds.
Despite all this, she's got a lovely grin that gets everyone every time. Crinkles her whole face and that little high dimple comes out. And the smiles are coming more often, for more people, just because.
We keep getting told that we're doing an amazing job. I think Maggie is too.