Thursday, 3 December 2009

The Test

Maggie is having her hearing test tomorrow morning - the more specialist, in-depth audiology one that should give us the final verdict on her hearing ability. And I can't really think of a time when I've been more frightened - because what we want so badly, what we've been willing for so hard, could just not be. Given everything that could be wrong with our little girl, this would be a little balm - that she could hear music and it could be as big a part of her life as it is Paul's, that she could hear our voices and be comforted by them (and later be annoyed by them), that it could help her development in so many ways. But for her not to be able to hear...well, it's just not fucking fair given everything else she, and we, will have to go through.

We've put it out of our heads these past two weeks, since she failed the two initial newborn hearing screenings. Except there have been little things, little instances where we thought maybe...her startling at a clipboard falling on the floor, turning when the speech and language therapist crinkled some paper near her ear, several different people telling us how often babies do fail the initial tests and can hear just fine. We've been trying to prepare ourselves for another negative response - given the brain damage, the commonality of hearing loss/impairment in situations like Maggie's, the initial tests - but it's just not working. We want it too much.

Click the photograph to see more pictures:


  1. Good luck with the hearing test tomorrow. I have my fingers crossed that she passes with flying colors, but know that even if the test shows a hearing loss, much can be done. Our little guy has a moderately severe rising to mild loss, and he sings songs, has language ABOVE his hearing peers, and is doing really well. Digital hearing aids and early intervention make a HUGE difference. Kids who are profoundly deaf benefit from cochlear implants- technology today means nothing is off-limits for kids with hearing loss.

    And our little guy LOVES music. Dances to it, listens to choirs sing, and shouts out for it in the car. No matter what, things really will be OK.

  2. Good luck tomorrow, Maggie......we'll be thinking of you all day and hoping for the bestest. Love you, sweetheart!

    Aunt Mary & Uncle bob

  3. We will all be thinking of you and sending all our love.
    Take care of yourselves and those beautiful babies.

    All our love

    Sally, Rob, Ava, Maddy and Hal xxxxxx

  4. I hope it goes well tomorrow, and that whatever the outcome you can come away with some hope and optimism. Good luck and thinking of you all - Bev xxxx

  5. god, shannon. you are so beautiful.
    jen and quinn